A few tips for my colleagues especially when relating with people online. I have seen someone say, “I didn’t know it was my examiner or my consultant.” We complain that a lot of seniors colleagues are not bringing us close to them, but I have seen that many times, people take access for granted and then mess everything up. For me, when I bring someone close, I bring them in all the way. I have to be sure it is someone is emotionally intelligent and will not take the relationship for granted. I actually don’t recognize anyone here except I know you personally outside of social media. I like to write to help medical students and residents, but I generally avoid them online. Because a lot don’t handle cordiality well. And some fail exams and think it is because they had an altercation with someone online. Best to stay away to avoid unnecessary stories.
Rules of engagement
- Stay away from endearments especially when you don’t know the person personally. E.g “my dear, darling, sweetheart.” You can never go wrong with being professional. A 400 level medical student called me, “my dear” in a group online. I wasn’t even the one that said anything. It was a doctor from another country that corrected her. It is not a Nigerian thing.
- This particular one is probably my own pet peeve. Don’t call a senior colleague “Doc.” It sounds patronizing and dismissive. You know the person’s name. “Dr. Debo, Dr. Henry.” It rubs off the wrong way. For me – If we don’t know ourselves, then its okay. But if you know my name- You either call me by my name directly or you add the name to the Doc. If we are friends and contemporaries, call me by my name.
- Be courteous. You don’t need to go out of your way to be savage. Savagery shouldn’t be your modus operandi.
We have senior colleagues that are looking out for us and mentoring us. Things are way better than it used to be. Don’t abuse cordiality.
And before you say, “Nigerians like wahala and why are we saying chief?” I don’t even like being called Chief or ma. And I don’t believe respect is by that. But it is important to note that every place has its peculiarities and adaptability and flexibility are two of life’s most important survival skills.