Five lessons my father taught me….

The best mentor a girl could wish for

I have been lucky to have several mentors in my life both professionally and personally. Right from when I was just a child, I had the best mentor in my father. He’s been gone for sometime now, yet his teachings still guide me on a daily basis. Today, I’m sharing 5 of the most important lessons that he taught me

1) Speak out when you need something. He often told me ‘Shaki, if you don’t ask, how will you ever know? Not in an entitled way but if you need anything from anybody in life, no matter who it is and if you have established a relationship….Ask.’
He often told me how important it was to be self sufficient, but how necessary it is to have a good support system. This has helped me greatly over the years. I often hear people say they are afraid of rejection….but if we all lived our life that way, we’ll never move far. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. We all need someone at some point in our lives to lift us up. If you get a rejection once, it’s all part of life. If you never ask, you’ll always be left wondering. I have followed this advice and almost everything I’ve ever wanted…..I have gotten.

2) Offense is better than defense. This used to make me laugh a lot when he said it then. To break it down, he told me ‘If you’re not pleased by something or the way you’re treated, let it be known. Don’t like what you hate. It is better from the onset that they know that you’re offended by it rather than you defending your actions later.’ If you knew my father, you’ll agree with me that was exactly who he was. You knew where you stood with him. No pretense whatsoever.

3) Let your word be your bond. Be a person of integrity and when you make a promise….keep it. Don’t be the person that your actions are inconsistent with what you say. People lose faith in you easily and have no regard for fickle minded people.

4) No matter the situation…remember that nothing lasts forever. If you don’t leave that thing or condition, it will surely leave you. So worry less and just trust in the process. I have to admit this is one that I’m still falling short. My father almost never had any time he worried excessively. He just put in his best and if anything didn’t work out for him…he moved on with his life.

If only we could be kinder to ourselves, the world will be a much better place


5) Kindness and respect to others irrespective of their social status, race or religion. As long as they’re human like you….do your best to be kind and respectful. Nobody chose where they were going to end up. The universe put them there. That you are above someone in social status doesn’t mean you should treat them shabbily.

Oh and a bonus lesson? He taught me to find laughter and humor everyday of my life. He lived and loved to make people laugh. You couldn’t spend time with him without bringing forth some rib-cracking laughter. Laughter was like medicine to him and he made sure he shared it to everyone around him.

These are lessons that I still live my life by and I thought I’d share them with you as you may find them useful.

Be safe out there everyone.
All pictures from Google images.

27 thoughts on “Five lessons my father taught me….”

  1. Really powerful and inspiring nuggets.
    And Thank you very much for sharing, for everyone to benefit from.

    Cheers.

  2. Rating myself and my application of the above on a scale of 10:
    No 1 – 8
    No 2 – Situational, among my contemporaries 10. But with my senior colleagues it’s almost a 0. The practice doesn’t encourage opposition to the norm.
    No 3 – 9
    No 4 – 11. I can’t come and go and kill myself.
    No 5 – 6. This one isn’t easy but I’m trying.
    Bonus – 8. 🤡 😂

    1. Oh Chijioke….your comment made me laugh a lot. Especially No 4.
      Funny even when I was an intern 10 years ago when UCH was known for a wide gap between senior and junior colleagues, I was always known for speaking my mind. I don’t know how I did it. I would work myself to the bone but I would definitely not be allowing anyone use derogatory words on me.
      Lol @ ‘I can’t come and go and kill myself’.
      You’re doing well jare.
      Thank you for stopping by.

    1. Thank you so much. Opened it since last year. Stopped procrastinating and finally did it. Thank you for the encouragement sis.

  3. These are truly golden, I always find hope and encouragement in your words. Ma , just so you know , you’re truly admired.
    May your father continue to rest well. Ameen .
    Stay Safe ❤️

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Maryam. That I am touching at least one person and making a change, that is more than enough to make me want to do and give more.
      Ameen to your lovely prayer. Stay safe too. Thank you for stopping by as always.

    1. Thank you for stopping by. Yes the lessons have been very valuable over the years. You’re welcome….

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