Trust in the process

Today makes it exactly one year that I made a decision and moved from the familiar to the unfamiliar. I completed my residency training about two years ago to be a specialist. Most people out there don’t understand that it is a new chapter entirely. While in the residency program, you’re in training but at least you’re certain of your next paycheck (ceteris paribus). Once you’re done with residency, then you’re thrown into the labour market again applying to different hospitals for a job. You start to send job applications to both private and public hospitals.

If you are lucky, you get a job within weeks or months of completing residency. Some people set up their own private practice and run their business especially people from a well to do family. For some, it runs way longer than that before getting a job with frustration setting in. Whatever the case, it is a different territory from residency.

I was lucky to go for a mentorship in dermatologic surgery after residency for three months which I had put on hold because of residency. I had applied in different places including hospitals the state and teaching hospitals in Lagos. I also applied at the University College Hospital Ibadan. To be honest, I had no real plans to leave Lagos. My Lagos! The commercial hub of Nigeria where things happen. Where all the connections are. The city that never sleeps! Where business ideas are brought to fruition. Where good collaborations happen. What’s a little traffic (like being on the road for 5 hours for a journey that should be 1 hour) got to do with it? So, I thought.

In addition, the skin industry is big business in Lagos. Being a dermatologist, I knew there was a market for me there. By the time I finished my mentorship and hadn’t gotten a permanent job yet, I spent the time resting from the rigors of residency and consulting for private hospitals. I liked the life I was living with no pressure at the time. I prayed fervently that God should do the best for me concerning my employment (although I kept putting the teaching hospital in Lagos as my foremost prayer point). God had other plans unbeknownst to me.

To my utmost surprise, the first job to come through for me was in Ibadan. It was unbelievable and unfathomable at the same time. Iba what? Even though I grew up in Ibadan, I felt it was too slow paced for me. My husband encouraged me to write the pros and cons of working in Ibadan and make up my mind. The advantages of moving to Ibadan far outweighed its disadvantages. My mum stays there, a good place to raise kids and the work environment would be a superb one as I would be working with two of my mentors who are extremely kind people that always want the success of their mentees.

Off I went to Ibadan to pick up my appointment letter and settle in. Everything seemed right. We got a place in a good area that people often ask me how I got the place in such a short period. The drive from my home to work was less than ten minutes. Cooking was not an issue as my mum took care of all that for me including market shopping. My children saw me more often unlike when I was in Lagos and we only had about 1 hour together. You leave the house early and come back when they’re almost asleep. My husband also didn’t mind because for him, as long as his family is comfortable…he’s happy. The only problem? I was sinking deep into an abyss that I couldn’t get out from.

I was having withdrawal symptoms from leaving Lagos. I’m at work looking all pleasant but would stay in my car to shed some tears before going home. My mentor couldn’t just understand why I burst out crying one day in her office. Everything was annoying me about Ibadan down to the radio stations. I was missing my favorite radio stations (like classic FM 97.3 and beat 99.9). At that time, all the radio stations were talking about one depressing news in Nigeria or the other.

My husband and mum tried to get me out of my melancholic state. No such luck. The private hospitals in Lagos were calling me every single day to see patients (you know how it is when other options apart from the one in your hand starts to look attractive). The MD of one of the big private hospitals in Lagos called me before leaving and told me, “Dr. Gold, what are you going to do in Ibadan? Don’t leave Lagos…too much opportunities.” She set up a meeting with another hospital’s MD that wanted me on their team who later sent a representative to talk to me. They were making me feel like the best thing since sliced bread😁. To crown it all, shortly before leaving, the state hospital in Lagos sent me a message to come for an interview just after I took up my UCH employment letter. I had already accepted the offer and there was no going back at that point.

I was praying so hard yet I couldn’t get out of my mood. I didn’t like the Shaki I was becoming. Almost like an ungrateful person. One thing I hate to be in my life, is ungrateful (to God and humans that have helped me in one way or the other) especially for all the little things. I have written about my Aunty Amudat here before (my mom’s immediate younger sister that gives the best advice in the world❤) who is one of the most objective people that I know. My aunty came on an impromptu trip to Nigeria that period. She had an urgent matter to attend to. I had to fly to Abuja to see her and it was the best thing I did for myself that period.

By the time she was done talking to me, I gained more clarity of purpose. Peace settled into my heart. That weekend in Abuja was the best thing that happened to me in a long time that period (we all need an Aunty Amudat kind of person in our lives..lol). I went back to Ibadan a different person. I started to see all the beauty that I didn’t see before. I missed my friends less and I settled in fully into my life in Ibadan. My house went back to being a home. The radio stations that were annoying became attractive that I now even have favorite stations (92.9 especially the morning show with Kolawole and Anike, 97.9, 90.1, 100.1, 100.5, 102.7). I noted some favorite programs including the ones in indigenous languages and I made sure I stayed away from depressing news.

I started writing more (which is one of the best things that has happened to me this year). I went back to my exuberant larger than life self. All because I allowed myself to see the opportunities in this beautiful city of Ibadan. Opportunities are everywhere, you just need to open your eyes. I no longer suffer Lagos withdrawal syndrome. Infact, Lagos has become somewhere that I have to think twice before going there and I have not been there in a long time. I’m not sure I’m willing to relocate even if I’m offered three times my current salary. Maybe if you offer me ten times the current amount…..lol

I have learnt so much from my personal experience. I have learnt to trust in the process even when I don’t understand it. I have learnt that prayer and incessant worrying after you have put in your best don’t go together. Why worry incessantly when you have played your part? Leave the rest to the Almighty. That’s for God to take care of. It is human to worry but don’t let it be something that makes you become a shadow of yourself. I have learnt that it is important never to forget to be thankful for the little things that we often take for granted. I have learnt that when it comes to mental health, you have to gain insight first before anyone can help you. In other words, nobody can pull you out of a downtrodden state without effort on your part. Most importantly, I know that a good social support is one of the best things you can have. I have built a social support with a network of friends here that we share the similar core values. For this and much more, I am indeed thankful.

“Which of the favors of my Lord will I deny?” Absolutely none!

Trust in the process. Even when you don’t understand it sometimes. Put in your very best and leave the rest to the Almighty.

Thankful for a remarkable one year in Ibadan. Looking forward to more fruitful years.

Pictures of quotes from Google images