My domino effect

Joy Isi Bewaji made a post about the domino effect a few days back that she related to human beings
The domino effect which is usually mentioned during habit forming.
A domino effect is the cumulative effect that occurs when an event sets off a chain of similar events. So for example, if you read a book that inspires you to be a better person and then you make positive changes in your life, that book set off the domino effect for you. Like Atomic habits has done for me. Note that it can be negative too. That first cigarette you picked that made you graduate to weed and other stimulants and you end up with lung cancer is an example of a negative one.

Applying this to human beings, it can also be positive or negative. I’ll focus on the positive. The human being that you meet that sets up the series of positive changes in your life or that introduces you to others that impact your life positively. You can even relate that to a positive mentoring relationship.

Today I talk about my domino effect, Prof. Adebola Ogunbiyi. I remember clearly as a green house officer in UCH 11 years ago. UCH has always been known for being conservative. I am the antithesis of conservative. Not in a loud way…but I loved my jewelry and color.
I lived up to my name then. “Gold”
I had heard so much about her and that she did not like women and she was strict. That once you dress well, she’ll not like you. This woman is a classy dresser herself o. I’m one person that I don’t form opinions about people until I relate with them to make my own personal opinions.

I was that HO in UCH that would wear rings, anklet and gold sandals. But I was very hardworking. And I loved to cook….for everyone and anyone. My friends would want to be on call with me because they know food is sure. My room at HOR1 used to be filled with SRs(male and female) coming to chill in my room to eat amala. I never took them for granted, disrespected them and I was not found wanting at my job. Some guys thought I liked them because I cooked for them. Me that I just like to feed people? Before you ask yourself to dinner, I don’t cook again for anybody edakun. I am living an intentional baby girl life now. I just want to relaz and be taken kiarof please.

Fate made them post me to dermatology unit even without asking. Recall that I have said it here that I always wanted to be a dermatologist.
My first consultant ward round was supposed to be Prof. George, but he was indisposed and Prof. Ogunbiyi took his space. I was in gold ensemble all through🤦‍♀️🙊 with an anklet on my leg.
She got in and the first question was “Who is this lady that wants to blind us with gold?”
“I’m Dr. Gold ma”
“Ha..that explains the reason why you want to make us go blind”😂

I started avoiding her. But one thing about her is that she loves to teach. So she would make sure she looks for the “gold lady” to ask her questions on ward round. I decided to make sure to get over my fear of her and I presented my patients with such precision and knowledge that she started looking out for me. I presented for the unit at grand round and everyone kept talking about how great my presentation was.

The last thing that brought us closer was our unit party. Recall that I said I love to cook. For the unit party, they were used to having jollof and fried rice only. I asked for the day off and I catered for the party. Jollof and fried rice, Porridge, Ofada, moinmoin, beans and plantain amongst others. Prof asked who the new caterer was and they told her it was the HO. She praised me so much that I blushed. Told me how much she loved versatile doctors.

Our relationship continued way after housejob. She is a mother and mentor to me now. The kind of associations I have made and the favors I have gotten simply because I met this icon are too much to mention.

She is a mentor’s mentor. Principled but kind hearted. I have gotten to the stage of mentoring where reverse mentoring is now taking place. We work together and I am still in awe of her as I was 11 years ago. Someone told me I remind them of Prof. Ogunbiyi…I replied about how that was one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received.

Mentoring is a relationship where both the mentor and mentee put in their work. Value for value. If you’re expecting everything handed to you….that is NOT mentoring. Be selective about who you choose as your mentor, you may end up becoming like them. Do you like what you see in them? Are you a good mentee yourself…putting in the work?

Dear friend, build your social capital. In your career and your personal life. Do not disrespect people/your boss because they have brought you close. I have observed that in some of my colleagues and because of that, I’m very selective about who I bring into my space. Civil and kind to everyone but deliberate about who I let into my personal space.

Be careful when listening to hearsay so that you don’t miss out on blessings. Some talk about other people badly because they don’t like to be criticized when they are less than optimal at their job. Imagine if I had listened to the nonsense people said about her.

And when favors start rolling in for you….never forget or undermine the person that set the ball in motion for your domino effect. Be grateful. The river that forgets its origin will definitely dry up.
Do you have such people in your life?

Prof Adebola Ogunbiyi….❤❤❤❤