That name is my traditional name (oríkì) and most people don’t use traditional names officially as their middle name. I loved mine so much because my father used to call me Ajoke omo Idrisiya (Ajoke the child of Idris) ever so often. The name brings back a lot of memories and I only like being called Ajoke when it is coming from a loved one.
I remember when my dad first died tragically. I went through the anger stage of grief for a long time. Why Mallam? Why at this tender age of 41? Why did the grim reaper take him away? I almost lost my faith. One minute I was speaking to God, the next I was ranting at God.
But you know how I got back on my feet? The words of Mallam himself and Allah’s promise. It was as if that man knew how short the time he had was. So, he lived….unapologetically and without worries or pretense. When I see some posts about if you would be comfortable as a man if your wife is wealthier than you…I just laugh to myself. Mallam used to tell any and everyone that cared to listen after you pay him a compliment on his outfit how it was his wife that bought everything for him. ” Iyawo mi, Abeke Afunmilayo lo ra fun mi. Owo mi o le ka eleyi, agbe nimi.” (I am a farmer, I cannot afford this, My wife Abeke Afunmilayo bought them for me).
Mallam used to talk about death like a part of normal discussion. It was his favorite topic to give sermons on. We had such sermons at least fortnightly. It was almost like he was preparing me and mum for his demise. He would tell us, “If I die today, rest assured that my family will be well taken care of. Because Allah is ever merciful.” He would then go on to say, “Nothing is as certain as death and nothing is as uncertain as its timing. Dying young is not a form of punishment. That is just the time you were destined to have.” So those words helped me to get through that dark period. Made me fearless. And like Mallam, I honestly do not fear death per se. I am just trying to live a life that I know that if I look back on the time spent, I would be happy with what my epitaph will read.
Allah also promised, “Man is not given a burden more than what he can bear.” I knew that was our trying period. Allah that brought us into it, will take us through it. He gave me a family that death even made us closer.
My younger sister delivered this belated birthday gift to me today. “Ajoke”.
And the memories came rushing back. She knew how much the name meant to me. I am blessed. I am wealthy. I am loved. Fiercely and totally.
Forgive my ramblings. It is almost that period of the year again. When the angel of death took my father. Then this chain and pendant….brought back those bittersweet memories.