Mentoring – The true mentor – mentee relationship is not ‘slavery’.

I have seen a lot of statements like ‘I need a mentor’, ‘I want to be mentored’, ‘How do I choose a mentor?’ I believe there are two ways to it. You might see someone that is making an impact and you officially ask to be their mentee; or you might be lucky to work with such person and you become their mentee through our actions. What do I mean by this? Like love….it’s better felt when it’s backed up by actions. If you say I love you to someone and you keep treating them badly…that’s not love. That’s toxic.

So if you want to become someone’s mentee…let it be seen from your actions. Let your mentor gravitate towards you even without asking. Let them think of you when they need to do anything as someone that can be trusted. I don’t mean master-slave relationship please.

I’ll go to my first mentor as an intern. If you know Prof. Ogunbiyi…you’ll agree with me that she’s an excellent physician and dermatologist. Serendipity brought us together. I was her house officer (HO) and I had heard so much about her and was already in awe. As a HO..I lived up to my name. ‘Gold’. Rings on both hands, gold chain, anklets, matching clothes and shoes…lol. So the first time she saw me…she asked me if I wanted to make them blind because my name was Gold. I started to avoid her…lol. But how do you avoid your unit consultant? So I decided to learn from her wealth of knowledge instead. I became her dependable HO. I was always available. Morning review…I was there presenting. Charts reviews…I was there. She didn’t stand a chance ..lol, I just had to be noticed. I was the HO she thought of when she needed something to be done. Every single time. And she never for once sent me on errands that were unsavoury. Everything I did…I did because I wanted to. The relationship we have now…is far greater than mentoring. We’re family.

The greatest relationships I have were formed during internship. For every point in my career, I made some bonds that went far beyond the workplace. People I can call now and they come running.

Now to Dr. Erere Otrofanowei who I met during my residency program. She was a guiding light throughout my residency program and she understands that the success of one does not in any way hinder that of others. If she has to see a patient and she cannot make it for one reason or the other, I’m the first person she calls. We discuss our cases and get ideas from each other.

If you have a great mentor…it gets to a point when even your mentor starts to learn from you. A good mentor knows that he doesn’t know it all….he is always open to suggestions. And they are never too big to accept corrections.

So if you say I want a mentor…it is not just by saying. It is by doing…and by showing that you are ready to put in the work… If you have been blessed with one…hold on tight. And like I always say…remember to give back.