Someone asked me a question many years ago. “Why are you always looking so happy? Why are you always so cheery?” She was not saying it from an unkind place. She was just thoroughly perplexed.
I laughed again as I responded to her, “Gratitude for all the little and big things that I have. I always have reasons to be grateful.” It was way more than that, but I didn’t want to go into too much explanations that day.
I have said it often that my dad’s sudden death is the most important reason that I live each day like my last – wholesomely and fully. My profession has also shown me how much tomorrow isn’t promised- I’ve seen enough outwardly healthy people drop dead suddenly.
Sharing with you some of the ways I ensure wholesome living.
-Hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. Even when I’m dealing with human beings, I always see the best in them while remembering that humans are capable of hurting themselves- intentionally or inadvertently.
-NOTHING/NOBODY is ever a do or die for me including relationships with people. I put in my very best while preparing for the worst. This helps me not to get my heart broken too often. I believe in destiny because of my faith and I know what/who is meant for me, will never ever pass me by.
-I never take money too seriously. I move on very quickly when I lose money. I made a promise to myself very early in life – Money should never come between myself and a loved one. If I loan you money and you don’t return it, the only thing is that you’re never getting from me again. It just shows that you cannot be trusted with money. It is highly unlikely for me to have a fallout with a loved one over money.
-From the lyrics of Adekunle Gold…”Money no dey bring happiness o, na when I get am I realise o, but I no be hypocrite o, I dey pray make you get your own o.” – I am not wealthy, but I realised early enough to know that money is not the key to happiness. May we not be struck by abject penury, but if you think deeply, we don’t need to have too much money to have a good life. If money was the key to longlasting joy, we’ll neither have sad billionaires nor will we have happy paupers. The path to happiness is way more complex than just having money. Contentment plays a huge role in that too.
-I have conditioned myself over the years such that your words, actions, inactions, or unkindness can NEVER affect me much if you don’t contribute positively to my life. It usually takes some time to get there, but when you do get there, it is the most liberating feeling ever!
-I found that giving makes me happy. I am at my happiest when I’m giving of myself whether financially or otherwise. Writing is part of giving for me. Part of the reasons why I would like to have more, is to be able to give more.
-I practice so much self-love because I know that you cannot give from an empty tank. I also never stay in relationships or friendships where I’m not treated right. I am very deliberate about who I let into my life and who I let stay in it.
You cannot be happy 100% of the time – that is almost synonymous with mania. You can however deliberately create your happy…and it starts from all the little things! Whenever you get overwhelmed, just remember, nothing lasts forever. Not even you! “Hakuna matata!’