This advice is for parents and intending parents trying to do right by their children or who intend to do right by their children. Disclaimer – I am not a parenting coach. Just a parent trying to do right by her children and the society at large.
In a world filled with ‘anyhowness’ that keeps rising by the day – the best thing you can do for yourself is to be deliberate and intentional about raising your children from the very start. Especially when they’re still young. When they’re easily malleable. When those teenage hormones are not roaring yet.
Down to the kind of friends they play with in school. Be observant. My son said some words recently and I immediately knew he was moving with someone that was the antithesis of what I wanted him to be. I did some questioning and I found out who it was. I had a word with the head teacher who admitted that the boy I complained about was someone that had exasperated them all. I found a way to ease my son out of that friendship.
Open your eyes to every little thing. Study your children’s personalities and individualize the way you’re raising them. I’ve got two boys with completely different personalities. While one is sensitive like ‘naked wire’, the other is tough as nails. While one has a mind of his own, the other is easily impressionable. I handle them differently.
If they like….let them say you’re being snobbish. You are buying peace of mind for yourself later in life. No apologies about that. Remember that you are putting in the work but some others are raising theirs on autopilot. Your children will have to mix with those being raised on autopilot. Ensure that you have invested enough in them to be able to discern right from wrong. In this case, even when they miss their way, they usually will find their way back home.
Parenting is a lot of work and prayers. I think there should be some kind of law that will prevent people from having kids if they intend to be selfish and not put in the work. And before you come and say, “Olohun lo n w’omo” (It is God that raises kids), remember that God does not like laziness. The Prophet (SAW) said, “Tie your camel, then ask Allah to protect it.” Not “Leave your camel straying and say God is protecting it.” Na thief go steal am.
A word they say, is enough for the discerning wise. A lot of adults are dysfunctional today because of how they were raised. Don’t contribute to that pool of dysfunctional adults. Parenting is serious business. Play.your.part.
QED.