Kindness….the gift that keeps giving.

I want to tell you a story about unbelievable kindness. Sounds unreal, but believe me when I say it will make you believe in humanity. My father Mallam Idris Gold had a universal mantra when dealing with people – kindness. He was a very blunt person and diplomacy wasn’t one of his strong suits. If you were someone that liked people sugarcoating things for you, you’re unlikely to get along with him. However, he lived for solving people’s issues and giving hope even in bleak situations. He also never forgot about self-love while helping others.

Mallam was lucky enough to be married to someone that was even more giving than him. My mum Alhaja Abeke has been nicknamed “mama no problem” because of how she goes out of her way to help others.

Mallam was a deeply spiritual and religious man. He talked about death like he was discussing the weather. My mum often got upset with him for speaking so morbidly at times. He would chuckle and say, “Abeke, the most certain thing after man is born is that man will cease to be no more. The timing of which is most uncertain. Why then does man fear the inevitable so much? Live everyday like it may be your last day and when it comes, you’ll know that you gave it your best shot. And do not despair Abeke, If anything ever happens to me or even you…we have been kind to others. Our children will receive kindness even from places we never expected. I trust in Allah 100%.” My mum used to get upset with him and say, “Idris, please…just stop. No more death talk.” To which he would just smile and keep teasing her.

We lost my dad tragically about 19 years ago. Now this is the part where the story of unbelievable kindness starts. My mum trades in fabrics at Gbagi market in Ibadan. A woman called Alhaja Akangbe (who you’ll soon discover had a heart of gold) also had a shop in Gbagi. They happened to always exchange pleasantries when they met. Coincidentally, we found out she was the landlady of the house we were living in. We were not close family friends at the time of my dad’s death. You know what this fabulous woman did when she heard of his demise? She came to my mum and told her that the house was free for her and her kids for as long as we were living there! It was a block of twelve flats (built as four flats each; like a mini estate). She later sold 8 of the flats (2 blocks of four) leaving behind the one my mum was in. She told the caretaker that she was not selling as long as my mum was there! We became family and we always looked forward to Alhaja Akangbe coming to the house as she always came bearing gifts. At my wedding 9 years ago, she was there with her family.

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We lived in that house for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7….18YEARS after my dad’s death without paying a dime!! The most amazing part of it…? She never told her children. How did we know that? My mum moved out early last year and this woman with a heart of gold died😢☹ later in the year. It was during the burial that the children learnt from my mum that we were not paying rent while living there.

Why did I call it unbelievable kindness? Because she didn’t have to. We were not even family friends. The words of my father came to pass. “Be kind, not because of what you want from others, but because it is the right and humane thing to do. Be rest assured in the mercy of Allah. Believe that, Allah will be sufficient for you. The rewards of kindness often come from the most unexpected places.” It sounds unbelievable, but we have never lacked. We always got help anytime we needed it even till now. And usually from the most unexpected places.

Was going to send this story to Humans of New York. But I thought, why not just share here when I couldn’t get through to them. If you have not been reading or following humans of New York, you should. A lot of stories there will give you hope in humanity.

May the souls of Mallam Gold and Alhaja Akangbe rest in peace.

I am excited on the book I’m writing about my dad. When people ask, “how did you get this wise?” I smile and say to myself, “If you met Mallam Gold, then you wouldn’t be surprised. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

The greatest gift life can give you, is a good family (as you don’t get to choose where you are born). If you have that, treasure it and never forget how blessed you are.

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I often hear people talk about how they’ve been hurt by others and that made them become vile. If you were being kind for all the right reasons, bad behavior of one person, should not stop you from doing good. Good and bad exists. Because you’ve eaten something that gave you food poisoning, doesn’t mean you won’t eat again.

Kindness is a deliberate choice….choose kindness..always.