The syndrome of “what will people say?”

Have you ever suffered from that syndrome up there? Are you currently trying to break free from that syndrome? Are you holding back on living your your life because of this syndrome? Are you trying to smash those shackles, yet you feel yourself sinking because of this syndrome? I ask these questions, because I know a lot of us suffer from it more than we think.

There are so many things you have denied yourself because of this syndrome. You want to bask in the things that give you joy….but this syndrome comes to remind you…”how dare you be happy? What will people say?”

The first thing you need to know is that people will ALWAYS have something to say and sometimes they’re not positive. Secondly, you cannot satisfy everyone. Lastly, tomorrow is not promised for anyone. The moment you remember these three things, you will quit fixating your mind on what they will say and simply carpe diem! You seize the heck out of the day and do the things that give you joy as long as you’re not hurting anyone.

You will definitely have people that you value their opinions and your actions have an effect on them. If you don’t have any, it is either you don’t form good relationships and you lack social capital or you’re just an extreme introvert. For me, when I need to do anything…I think of God, my family, my loved ones and those people who make a positive impact in my life. Once we’re good, I drown all the other voices in my head and simply LIVE on my own terms. You have a problem with how I’m living my OWN life that is not affecting you? Awww…sorry. You’ll be alright. Eventually.

“What will people say?” has killed many dreams, love stories, hopes and aspirations even before they were born. You’re in love with a younger man and he loves you right back fiercely….yet you’re thinking about what people will say. He says to you, “I love you with all of me, you are perfect for me just the way you are.” You break up that relationship with the love of your life and you spend the rest of your life wallowing in misery because of people that don’t even remember you for more than the 30 minutes they’ve spoken about you. You’re married to a good man now, yet you pine for another. Punishing the poor man and yourself because of some silly talk.

The way I live my life? As long as you’re not making a positive impact in my life, walahitalahi, I don’t even see you. You can talk all you want and because my parents raised me well, I’ll give you a polite smile (especially if the person is older). But that conversation enters my spam folder immediately I leave you. I pray to have a long and happy life, but who’s to say when the grim reaper will come? It takes a lot of learning and unlearning to know how to drown those voices but when you finally get there….that is when you’re truly free.

A note of caution – As adults, we must be accountable and remember that everything we do (or that we leave undone) have consequences. We must also teach our children about this and let them know how important it is to be accountable. So while we should banish the syndrome of “what will people say?”…remember that there are consequences for all our actions and inactions. Some of which may be unpleasant, yet we must live with it. We learn from them and move on. Ignorance is NOT an excuse anymore.

You cheat on your spouse and your marriage ends – consequences of your actions.
You send nudes and it gets on social media – consequences of your actions.
You commit fraud and you’re sent to jail – consequences of your actions.
You come on social media to brag about how you committed a crime and law enforcement nabs you – àfowófà x consequences of your actions.
You’re supposed to be reading for exams but you spend all your time either on social media or partying and then you fail – consequences of your actions.

As much as it is important to do more of what makes you happy, remember that actions also have consequences.

I leave you with this.. Self-love is taking care of yourself holistically- emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. Part of self-love is doing more of what makes you happy. Do not let the words of others define how you live your life. People will always have something to say. Don’t let their words limit your greatness.

All pictures from Google images