Be deliberate about your choice of a life partner

The greatest gift that you can have through nature is the family you’re born into. The greatest gift that you can give yourself is the family that you make. The former cannot be helped as you cannot choose the family you’re born into; that is completely left to God. You are the architect of the latter. It often amazes me when I hear the reasons why people get married these days. A relationship that will probably determine how the rest of your life will be like is what you’re handling with kid gloves? Don’t forget that you’re also contributing to your children’s genes.

Pray do tell why you’re so shallow in your ways of thinking when it comes to a life partner. Don’t be superficial….ask ALL the necessary questions. Pray incessantly. Be very deliberate. Marriage is not in itself an achievement but a good one gives peace of mind and tranquillity. Let your home be your favourite place in the world.

 You’ll never get 100% of what you want in a person….I can tell you that for free. You can never be 100% of what that person wants too. But find someone that their imperfections complements yours to make a perfect relationship. A perfect relationship does not translate to one without differences. It means that you will always find your way back to each other because you have built on a solid foundation. It means you’re willing to swallow your ego to apologize and change your ways when you have erred. It means that you’re willing to think of another person’s needs along with yours. It means that you’re willing to appreciate all the little things.

Know your deal breakers. Know the things you absolutely cannot tolerate. And make sure your partner does not have them. Are you someone that cannot tolerate cheating and lying (because as crazy as it sounds, it’s not a big deal to some people)? Are you the one that family relationship is important to? Are you the type of person who desires to have a career? Then what are you doing in a relationship that cheating has always been a component of? What are you doing with a person that doesn’t value family? What are you doing with someone that wants you to stay at home and be a homemaker? I’m not going to talk about physical abuse as a dealbreaker because I believe that should be a non-issue. You cannot open your eyes and let ‘talubo’ enter it. Lol

It’s okay not to want to get married….but if you do want to..be deliberate and open your eyes and mouth to see all the necessary things and ask all the right questions.

I do not claim to be a marriage counselor. Heck…I’m only just 9 years in it now. But I knew enough from an early age what I wanted in a spouse. And I didn’t settle for any less. The greatest blessing to me in life is my family. The one I was born into and the one I have made. All that I am, I owe it to God and my family. Next are my relationships. I am a very bubbly full of life person and you may think I have so many friends. I try to be civil to everyone but I choose my friends very carefully. When people talk about bad friendships…it sounds very alien to me. Next are my mentors….I have truly been blessed with fantastic ones. For that and much more…I am deeply thankful. May I never ever get to that point in life when I don’t appreciate all the beautiful people that God has given me that are far greater than material wealth. Amen.